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“Club Boi @ District3” Miami, FL

 

Ratchet Level: High
Price: $20 after 12am
Music: Hip-Hop/Rap

Chile....is apparently Miami has two gay clubs called “Boi”. We made the mistake of going to the wrong one. This one played the stereotype gay EDM with a $10 cash only cover. The underaged drinking must be an issue because this venue scanned IDs outside. The people I was traveling with pointed out this was the wrong “Club Boi”. Per the bouncer this play “Glam Nightclub” was named Club Boi for a short time before changing its name. This confusion made it an issue when traveling by Uber and Lyft as typing in Club Boi brought us here..... We ended up ordering another ride for an additional 30 minute drive to the right location. Our 1am arrival turned into 1:30am. We arrive to a hole in the wall spot next door to an Advanced Auto Parts. Regardless from outside we could hear the music we wanted. The cover was $20 after 12am cash only. There was an ATM located on the other side of the building. Imagine an old warehouse divided in two. One side was a Hispanic +18 club and the other side was for the gays. Both sides are basic. Cement floor, flashing lights, and a bar. Nothing special here. The drinks were EXTREMELY overpriced and included a tip. They weren’t mixed well either. Shirtless bartenders making mediocre drinks 🍸🤦🏽‍♀️. 2-3 gogo dancers (who are clearly strippers) are dispersed around to dance and socialize. There was an actual DJ. Shoutout to him for the Nicki Minaj and City Girls giving the ghetto gays what we wanted. The cunts were dancing while the hyper masculine guys watched with a mixture of lust, judgement, and envy. Typical... The interior was just a light fog covering the room and flashing lights. You couldn’t really see anyone’s face. Overall I am unimpressed, disappointed even. I expected much more from the Miami LGBT club scene, but that’s my fault for setting expectations. (My previous time in Miami was during Sizzle (black gay pride) in 2015 so it wouldn’t be a fair club comparison.) The trade is in the building though! Well this has been an eventful weekend. Any future trips to Miami will not be spent here. I want innovation and trend setting. If you club here it is very similar to 3rd Saturday at Club Paradox in Baltimore from back in the day (just cement floors). Period! Bye Miami!

Part 2 🤦🏽‍♀️ I thought I was finished. (I’m currently bored in the club so I decided to write this review, but there is MORE!) I know for sure I’m going to smell like smoke and weed because people are just openly smoking on the inside. That must be a thing in Miami. After a trip to the restroom there is a fucking corner store. I’m talking snacks, pain killers, and everything in between. There is an elderly woman acting as the cashier and towel woman. This is so ghetto. Not even in a cute way. This is seriously late. I’m going back to Colorado 😂😤. More LGBT reviews on ShamelJones.com, all this trade in here the let-out should be interesting (if I last that long). 

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